catalysts

Every so often in life, you come across something or someone who changes everything. Sometimes it’s just a simple thought process or a question that inspires you or plants a seed. Sometimes it’s an act or an experience that immerses you so completely that you know in an instant that the course of your life has been irreversibly altered.

I love life. I love living, I love feeling. Simple things like sitting down and enjoying a meal with a friend – simple pleasures and moments savouring tastes, smells and company. Talking, laughing, joking, sharing opinions and ideas. These simple moments are sometimes all we need to grow, to start to realise that aspects of our lives work while others need to be worked on.

Very rarely some people find focus in a singular activity. I suspect many people may never experience the pleasure of this kind of clarity in focus. I must be lucky – I know what I want, I know who I am and who I want to be.

Finding ways to make things happen may be hard and sometimes I sit here and worry. I find myself seriously wondering if I’m making a big mistake in trying – is it all pointless? Am I wasting my time? Can I do this? Can I make this happen? Do I have the fight in me? Do I have the focus and the ability?

None of these doubts actually matter – I know what I want and what needs to be done, I can see the barriers and the obstacles and deep down I know I’m capable of entering the fight. Whether I will win is never going to be certain, but isn’t life all about the journey rather than the outcome?

I’ve spent much of my life feeling like an underachiever, when the reality is I have been achieving things many people consider to be amazing. I guess I’m growing mentally, I can now meet people, make friends, talk and realise that even though they may not really know me, they believe in me. Suddenly I’m finding that I actually believe in myself too.

Sometimes it takes big things to make us realise the small ones, and sometimes it’s the small things that have the biggest effect.

 

To all of those people in my life who have ever believed in me, said a nice word, done a nice thing or simply wished me well – thank you. You are all catalysts.